Fishin’ Trip (A Country Song)

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.  Oh, this is SO old it comes with it’s own back story.  Long years ago, my wife’s brother challenged me to write a country song with “as many of the stereotypical elements” as I could pack in.  I missed the references to the train, the rain, and of course, momma, but this was the first one I offered.  In a later country song I do mention those.  Maybe I’ll find the other country song someday, for your listening pleasure.
*
Fishin’ Trip
*
I just got back from fishing, but I didn’t get one bite
That’s just how I’m living; there ain’t nothin’ goin’ right
I forgot my cooler, had to settle for drinkin’ Sprite,
I forgot my fishin’ licence, and then I got in a fight!
When the game warden came up to me, I was fishin’ from the bank
I would have been in my boat, but it prob’ly would’ve sank
He asked me for my license and he told me that I stank,
Then I looked in my wallet and the space for it was blank!
*
Some days there ain’t nothin’ goin’ right for me!
It’s in my head to stay in bed and drink till I can’t see.
*
I said that I forgot it back at home, and he said, “Oh.”
“Well if’n you ain’t got it here then it’s time for you to go.”
I asked him if he might just let it slide this time, you know,
But he got mad and roughed me up like some bull at a rodeo!
That game warden shot at me and said, “Get on out of here,”
I sure am glad he missed me, it’s still ringin’ in my ear!
There’s a bullet in my Evinrude, but I’ll be back next year.
Then I got home and found out that the dogs drank all my beer!
*
Some days there ain’t nothin’ goin’ right for me!
It’s in my head to stay in bed and drink till I can’t see.

*
At least I know my baby loves me; she is all I care about,
So I went down to her strip joint to see if she would go out,
She got down off that table top and slapped me in the mouth,
And she asked where I’d been all week and then started to pout.
When she was finished workin’, we got in my pickup truck
And drivin’ home we talked things out, but my pickup got stuck,
I tried to pray, but ain’t no way God heard me ask for luck:
Can’t get my truck out of the muck, and she’s too tired to … push.
*
1, 2, 3,
Some days there ain’t nothin’ goin’ right for me!
It’s in my head to stay in bed and drink till I can’t see.

05/30/2003, Michael N. Johns

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