Those E-Mail Advertisements

Those E-mail Advertisements and Photos (in the Sidebar of my email account…)

(An open letter to all the “free” email account providers – please stop it – , and a caveat to women whose images are available on the internet)

Oh, God, how I hate not knowing who she is,
Not wanting to know makes me feel even worse,
But in my sidebars and emails, there she is,
With harems of more beauties, an evil curse,

Why is your picture in an email advert,
Or a sidebar I can’t delete or ignore?
I’d rather not see your feelings getting hurt,
But I look and my brain screams, “please stop! no more!”

The saddest thing is, I suspect you aren’t you,
Your image is pirated, abused, hijacked,
From social troll jerks who sell love that’s untrue,
Or dating sites selling assets, falsely packed.

You might not even know that you’re being sold,
Or maybe you do, and the buyer gets trolled:
Pick a twenty something, she’s forty years old,
The package is damaged, and inside there’s mold.

I wonder how you would feel if you saw you,
Your image tossed carelessly in, like salad,
In whatever dressing… Would it make you bleu?
Or pleased, or excited, or possibly mad?

I’ve wed; I’m sorry, but those images pale,
Compared to the beauty who’s waiting at home,
Pretty as they are, I’m afraid the ads fail
To entrap this heart, I’ve reasons not to roam.


One thought on “Those E-Mail Advertisements

  1. michaelnjohns Post author

    I got an advertisement that made me laugh, it said to men, want to know how to get a six pack fast? I didn’t open it because I pictured a guy buying beer at the store.


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