Tag Archives: hate

“There’s No Such Thing as Monsters?”

“There’s No Such Thing as Monsters?”, Michael N. Johns, 4/28/2016

If there weren’t wars and man-made hate,
Could scientists eliminate
Diseases, famines, and create
Utopia?  We could all live
In harmony, and we could give
Attention, then,  preemptive,
To nature’s uncontrolled horrors.

By consequence, we’d intervene
When earthquakes shake and make a scene,
When tidal waves, floods unforeseen,
Or drought disrupt, or volcano
Erupt, or crops refuse to grow-
We’d share with people we don’t know,
Like foster family sponsors.

Alas, there’s war, hate, selfishness,
Rape, murder, robbery, it’s a mess!
Adding to pains and natural stress
Add greed’s victims held in the sway
Of life-crippling debt to pay
And then you still would try to say
“There’s no such thing as monsters?”

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Please Hear My Confession

Please Hear My Confession, Michael N. Johns, 1/21/2015

Bless me, Heavenly Father, for I have sinned.
I don’t deserve any blessing, but I ask anyway.
It feels like it’s been a lifetime and a day
since my last confession,a prayer on the wind.
At life and love, I’m far from winning.

And since that time, I’ve failed continually,
Any “prayers” mentioned under my breath
Weren’t worth saying or repeating by me,
Or answering by You, at least not with a “yes.”
There is no end to all my sinning.

I’m sure I’ve had perpetually impure thoughts
About everyone, from Abbess to Zookeeper,
Mostly in passing traffic, daydreams, or the halls.
Feeling jealousy, murder, adultery and hate were
Not the end, just the beginning.

There is no love in my words or actions,
Except my narcissism, like it’s own religion.
It’s not my fault I think I’m near perfection
Until You show me Your expectations.
Then I’ve struck out, from first to seventh inning.

I’ve only gone from there to petty seeming things,
Wanting what I want, like a five-year-old,
With a temper running from thoughtless hot, to vengeful cold.
I am truly sorry for these and all my sins.
Without Your mercy, my soul is spinning.

Demon

Snarling, spittle-foamed fangs and maroon to scarlet flashing eyes,
Somehow familiar, so unfriendly,  I should have felt surprise,
Flashing flames from mahogany to blazing sunset, leering,
But I knew the face in detail, angry, hate filled, now sneering,
With no constructive purpose, only empowered to destroy:
Misguide my eyes, claws point up flaws, since I was a little boy.

I stared into the face of pure malevolent wickedness;
All at the same time, frightened, curious, cowardly, fearless,
It whispered in my ear, “Take it!  Try it!  Do it!  Do it NOW!”
I might have put up resistance if I only knew how.
Thoughtless, habits once again took me through familiar motions.
How could I feel right and wrong at the same time, both deep oceans?

Guilt and want, yes and no, there is supposed to be an escape,
If there is, I haven’t found it while evil is taking shape,
Then, when I have done what I have done, I am left with the guilt,
That hated face, still there, laughing at remorseful tears I’ve spilt-
Demon director, without the grace to hide behind a door,
Staring at me, waiting to tempt again, close as my mirror.

“You’re Not Cool”

The truth hurts whether it is spoken or not,
I’m not “hip,” and I’m not “hot,”
No “swag,” no “feels,” nothing to see,
Not whatever it’s à la mode to be-
Not “in,” not “with it,” not “making the scene,”
And I’ve never been, but why is she so mean?

It would have been bad enough just as an eye roll-
The superior side glance, the laughs, extract their toll,
But she said “you’re not cool.”  It still hurts inside,
In the moment I could have just cried.
She doesn’t like me, or care if I’ve died.
Is there someplace I can crawl under and hide?

She’s so pretty, I love her laugh, her smile,
Her ease of being, her walk, her style
I feel so awkward, and she is cool,
She’s so smooth, and I’m just a “tool.”
God, I love her, but she has no idea.
And now how could I ever say how I feel?

When Love is Sleeping

There are no perfect words to say to you,
No blessing, compliment, or sweet refrain,
If I could say it, it would not ring true,
As words are not enough, cannot explain.

Stronger than any fast-tempered alloy,
It grips tighter than love, possesses me,
My very soul is longing for your joy,
And wanting, at whatever costs may be.

Though I could die to purchase happiness,
I’d rather stay and rest in your delight,
The grave, infinite cold, but your caress,
Leaves me warmer than lit-fused dynamite.

So why, when I need you, is the door closed,
As if my presence, burdens should impose?

Overcome

Unaware that there is a problem, the children play
While the world treads, mercilessly, with heavy, mocking
Boots, trampling the flowers of childhood’s sweet innocence
Children play, only aware that they are all children
Hate is a viral infection, love, the remedy
Until we learn to hate, we play, becoming best friends.

Recall the way you felt when you first met, became friends
With that one person, all you wanted to do was play
All day, and when they were sad, you raced to remedy
Whatever was wrong, to silence others from mocking
To rescue your friend from the bullying, mean children
It was too late for them, already lost, in a sense

Recall the moment when you lost childhood’s innocence
Who told you, or your friend, that you couldn’t be best friends?
That day when hate “rescued you” from “different” children…
Murdered your youth, when all you wanted to do was play
Left you in shock, soul mortally bleeding, hate mocking
How long before you knew you needed a remedy?

By then, though it was too late, there was no remedy
You said what you said, thoughtless, meaning words in no sense,
Having learned hate, being affirmed, you were mimicking,
Hurt, unchecked, spreads virally, killing love between friends
You wouldn’t say those things if you could watch on re-play
View your own words, ripping the hearts of other children

If we realize it happens, we might save children
Hate is a viral infection, love, the remedy
Please, just leave them alone, let them show us how to play
Let them stay children, remaining loving innocents
Without hate, how long before the thought, we differ, ends,
Our arms relearn to stretch, to hug, as fabrics smocking?

The voice of hate says, “you will never beat me,” mocking,
“I will have your heart, and the hearts of all your children.
There will always be differences, dividing friends.
They will not listen, though you know love.  Your remedy,
Will never restore your friendships, nor the innocence,
You once knew together, sharing all, children at play.”

Can you hear it mocking us? True love’s the remedy
We can all be children, if all want their innocence
For my part, I’m sorry. Let’s be friends again, and play!

Tremens

Why does the alcoholic crave the next drink
Mourning the empty flagon
Dropped in the sink
As one grieving life’s end
For an old friend?

Why does the oil need vinegar so bad
Yet separate until shaken?
Dressing salad,
The best flavors depend
On a good blend

Why does the drug addict crave the next fix?
Fearing supplier’s conviction
Locked behind bricks
The body cries out for more,
Silent tremor.

Why do the magnet ends now push, now pull?
Polarized love, or rejection
She’s whimsical
By choice.  When she turns around,
He’ll rebound.

Why do I need you while you don’t need me
You’re my favorite addiction
Damaging me.
I always come back for more.  
Soaring, or sore.

I want you to crave me, need me, hold me
Me: living earthquake, shaken,
Magnet ending,
Locked out, starving without you.
What shall I do?