If You Decide

I’ve been following for so long, wandering in my wilderness,
Every day I take for granted Your provisions for my stress,
Turning blindly from Your presence, I am buried by my cares,
I’m a dead man with no coffin, facing people’s frightened stares,

I can’t navigate myself, can’t see the signs through all these tears,
Got a better map than most, trying to follow all these years
But some days when I’m travelling, North looks South and East looks down,
I’m supposed to show the way up. No one listens to a clown.

If You decide to lead me, in spite of all the times I stray,
I’ll do my best to do Your will.

There’s no fire in my night sky, but the clouds choke me all day,
And without any real guidance, how can I find my own way?
I’m afraid we’ll all be lost If they’re dumb enough to follow
Sometimes it’s just not enough, me not knowing what I don’t know.

Can You help me see my own way clear if I’m supposed to lead?
This smold’ring wick’s about to go out, this tiny mustard seed,
I’m under grinding heels of self doubt, I just want to be healed,
The scars are permanent, still painful, nevertheless, I’ll yield.

If You decide to use me, in spite of all the times I fail,
I’ll do my best to do Your will.